Decrease in Autism Symptoms

Over the last year since the divorce finally settled, there have been some unexpected and unusual developments in a list of behaviors I thought were immutably autistic and that would only get worse over time. They include:

1. Listening to music on a daily basis.

2. Enjoying cut flowers nearly every week.

3. Using an unscented aquaphilic ointment daily on my face and elbows to prevent winter chafing.

4. Discovering that I enjoy bath bombs and bubble baths of almost every kind, including many scents I thought I hated (hello, lavender!)

5. Beginning to purchase scented handmade soaps after my daughter started making them and sending me her own, and discovering that I love them so much! For years, I only ever used Ivory soap, which was from my childhood.

6. Wearing very loud clothing after a lifetime to wearing clothing to disguise myself (mostly black, but some muted dark greens, as well).

7. Eating marzipan! I have long believed that I hated marzipan after spending a year in Germany in high school and trying a LOT of marzipan there. I tried some after my mom died that she had left behind and I loved it! How many years have I been missing out on a great treat?

8. Trying new foods. I used to be the person who would walk into a limited set of restaurants and always order the same dish. They would start making it as soon as they saw me. I used to order the same thing when I went out to new restaurants because I liked sameness. But not anymore. I love trying new restaurants and often order the weird thing on the menu (something my ex used to do and I thought made no sense).

9. Cold house. I am working on my sleep habits and a book I read suggested that I keep my house cooler, so I’ve been doing that. To my astonishment, I am exactly the same level of cold as I was when the house was warmer and now pay a lot less in heating bills (not to mention helping the environment).

10. I like expensive clothing. I always believed this wasn’t true of me and because I’m a relatively easy size to fit, would just buy whatever was cheapest or just get hand-me-downs from others. But I love LOVE LOVE!!! Expensive sweaters that are gorgeously crafted and made to last. I love the tiny details that show that they are well-made.

I am just guessing here, but I think I feel more freedom to experiment with who I am after leaving both a religion and a marriage that were bad for me and tried to keep me in a smaller, more boring box than actually fits me. It’s probably also partly just mid-life and having an empty nest and more money to spend. But I like it. It feels really great. I’m not saying I’m not autistic anymore, but the way that the problems show