Whaddayou lookin’ at? Ain’t you ever seen a bird with a tiny cigarette in its beak before?

Y’all, I am doing the things.

I’m getting up early every day and meditating. I’m working on building on what I currently have instead of trying to create something less amazing from scratch. I’m taking more time to rest, recover, and heal. Michael and I are walking 2-3 miles everyday that isn’t dangerously cold. And I’m doing one more thing I don’t think I mentioned I was thinking about - but I’ll save that for later.

The meditation is going great, actually. I have actually felt the Presence of my eternal self, resting so lightly in my body, not really attached, but in it for the long haul. My ego is still ridiculously chatty, but I am learning how to tell it to STFU and GTFO. And I have had moments where my mind floated empty and soft and quiet, for more than a few seconds before my ego piped up and said, “Oh hey! Empty mind! Cool!” and I had to say “Shut it!” again. But this is major, major progress.

I’ve stopped trying to think about what could be, and focused on “Wow, look at this life I made!” Because it’s pretty fantastic. I’ve got a healing studio where I work with wonderful humans who want to feel as comfortable in their own skins as possible. I work closely and with intense creativity with two people who are so aligned with me I can’t even believe it, and together we create music that turns into a whole thing for 100-some singers and a dynamite band. I am able to set my own schedule to suit my healthiest life. I’m blessed to be in an area with so many organic farmers that I can have fresh produce all year long.

And I have Michael. I mean. I have Michael. Seriously. I have a partner who loves who I am and what I do so much that he considers it more essential than anything he does, and treats me with unconditional respect and reverence.

So yeah, I have a life worth wanting already, and I’m no longer afraid to live it.

And into this mix, I have decided that it’s time I learned how to play the motherfucking piano, because Jesus Polyphonic Christ why do I not play the motherfucking piano? Because I thought it was too hard, and was being a chicken-shit, I guess. I got so used to being competent at guitaring that it made me too frustrated to do something I am terrible at. It’s time for me to get over my tiny self and learn how to do something else that’s worth wanting. As Robert Fritz says, “Anything worth doing is worth doing badly until you can learn to do it well.” Amen. Permission to stink: Granted.

And I do! It’s so great! It’s humbling and awful, but also, beginner’s mind is a trip and I’m kind of loving it. I cannot promise that there will ever be great new piano songs written by me, but … maybe? Eventually? Not like next week or anything. And as we know, everything I learn ends up on the guitar, so there will likely be some kind of six-string explosion in the near future.

And I don’t tell you this because I want you to pat me on the back or give me a treat. I’m not trying to make anybody feel bad. I’m saying, we create our lives every minute, every choice, and even if you feel like your life is crap, there have got to be some things that you actually like. Embrace those things, and build on them. Say yes to being alive on this planet at this extraordinary (in so many ways) time, and know that you are actually in the right place. The more you say, yes, thank you, I meant to create that, the more you put yourself in alignment with the stuff you were put here to do. Sometimes it just takes a subtle shift to recognize it.

I’m feeling so good I’m not even asking for a coffee today.