People are naturally curious.

While many kids groan about going to school, the idea of learning new things are a part of who we are, it drives us. The issue with kids resisting schoolwork isn’t about a person who doesn’t want to learn, it is almost always something else.

And discovering that something is what I’ll talk about today.

A Few Culprits…

There are as many reasons as there are people when it comes to why a child doesn’t want to do a school/learning assignment. I won’t pretend to be wise enough to address all of them. That would be arrogance.

However, as a homeschool mom for over 13 years, a tutor, and student myself, I have seen a few patterns that can help you with many.

They would rather do something else.

This is the most obvious. There is something else they want to do. Whether it is rest, watch a program, play with friends. For a distracted student, the work is a barrier to what they’d really like to do.

So, how can we address it? The best way I have found as a parent and as a student myself is to remove the option. A teacher told me back in 7th grade that the key to success was to have homework, even if the teacher didn’t assign it.

Therefore, if there is a designated study time every day that is not shortened by lack of homework—or when the homework is done—then your kids start to develop a habit.

It is just like an adult trying to get used to going to the gym. I’m not saying there won’t be griping, but as they start to see positive results they are more likely to gripe less.

And as a bonus, you’re teaching your child lifelong discipline skills that will help them long after they are trying to memorize state capitals.

They don’t see an immediate benefit.

This plays in a little with the previous one, but with a twist. This is most obvious when you hear them whine, “Why do I have to do this? I’ll never use it.”

This can be a difficult one to tackle because our temptation is to try to explain all the potential ways they may use it in the future. That does work with some kids, but not all.

I would use this as an opportunity to learn another life skill beyond the textbook—how to learn.

The truth is we never know WHY we need to learn certain things, like state capitals. However, there will always be a need to learn how to memorize things that are unrelated to what we are doing. That is a life skill that is useful.

So, knowing that Columbus is the capital of Ohio may not save a life, the skill of learning a way to organize information and memorizing it COULD help you when you’re trying to learn CPR or something else in the future.

School isn’t only about learning specific topics, it is about learning how to learn. Teaching your brain how to stretch and hold on to new and more information. That is a skill that will serve you throughout your life.

And one that will set you apart in a world that carries their brain in their pocket.

A Fun challenge or something that makes me feel stupid.

Confidence inspires us to take risks. We want to find out more, ask questions, explore ideas.

The opposite is also true. Instead of asking questions, excited about the answers, we shy from asking because we don’t want to look stupid.

In this case, the resistance can give us an insight into where our kids may be secretly struggling or feeling inferior to their peers. A child who has a strong emotional reaction to an assignment—particularly if they say the work is stupid—may be feeling insecure about the lesson. In that case, trying to walk a step back or ask them the parts they understand [a brain dump] can open the door to discovering where they stop understanding.

Then from there you can help them so they can feel even more confident. A great tutor is particularly helpful in this situation because your child doesn’t want to look bad in front of you, so may resist doing the assignment with you.

Self-discipline

That brings us to self-discipline. One thing about assignments is they teach us a VERY useful skill of self-discipline. We will use this to go to work. Pay our bills. Do routine maintenance and so many other things throughout our life. I can trace my self-discipline back to a few things as a child: Family routine, my 5th grade English teacher (Miss Rock), and gymnastics. In all 3 of these things gave me something predictable and measurable. Over time I grew independently self-disciplined and used that to go from a struggling student to a very successful college student to someone who has inspired a love of learning in many students.

BONUS

And I would be doing a disservice if I didn’t write something positive and proactive about building a love of learning into children.

Listen to audiobooks with them while you’re doing things together. It creates a positive memory.

Watch documentaries and then talk about them after you’re done.

Have a weekly trip to the library where you read books, participate in library activities, explore books, and take things home.

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I will see you next week. Would you like to see a topic covered? Share in the comments.