Today, I can’t imagine having sex and not squirting, even a little. It’s nuts to me, to consider that for so many years, I not only didn’t orgasm but I wasn’t able to have blended orgasms either.

When I separated from my first husband, I spent the first year exploring my sexuality as completely as possible. We’d been together since I was 17, so not only had I only been with one man during that time, I’d also been in an exceptionally abusive, narcissistic relationship where I’d been unable to have friends, be around family, or really do much of anything beyond parent my children, run our household, and go to work.

While I did have a brief moment of reprieve with my first experience with a woman during our marriage, only because he thought he would end up being involved at some point too, and thankfully experienced my very first orgasm at the age of 25 with her, that was my only real exploration with sex beyond some very vanilla and not so great experiences for almost 10 years.

One of the first guys I met when I began seeking partners was a cardiac surgical tech. My first thought once he told me what he did for a living was, I bet he’s good with his hands. At the time, I would have no idea how true that statement would turn out to be.

John was the ultimate nice guy — an actual nice guy. Even though we never intended to be anything more than casual sex buddies, I appreciated how respectful he was. When he would come over to hook up, he always brought bottles of Perrier (an indulgence for me but something I adored), fresh-cut fruit, and fresh-cut flowers.

It’s the little things you remember that make even your casual sex partners smile. Just because you’re having casual sex doesn’t mean you can’t be thoughtful.

One of the first questions John asked me, after we got the pleasantries out of the way, was if I had ever squirted. I had to admit I had no idea what he was talking about. At that point in my experiences, I had not watched a ton of porn yet so I hadn’t run across it that way, nor had it ever happened to me naturally. He explained the process and asked if I was willing to let him try and see if I could.

Sure, why not?

The first time he came over for some adult fun, we enjoyed a round of regular sex, no worries about whether I could squirt or not. He was an attentive lover and I had multiple orgasms. After we hydrated and enjoyed some fruit, he asked if I was ready for round two.

Yes, please.

He asked me to lie on my back, propped against my pillows. He kissed down my body and made his way to my pussy.

Hmm, I was getting oral, that’s nice! Also, not something I was used to. My ex husband rarely ever gave me oral. He said it wasn’t something he enjoyed and that the “smell” turned him off. I stopped asking. John informed me later, because I asked, that there was absolutely nothing wrong with my scent or taste, and that he very much enjoyed giving me oral.

I was getting a lot more than I bargained for.

He licked me up and down, slowly, making figure eights with his tongue. When I was dripping with my own juices, he slid a finger inside me. I started moving slowly down the bed as I couldn’t get comfortable lying against the pillows. I didn’t feel like I could get enough of him inside me and licking me in that position.

He pulled me all the way down and slid me over to the edge of the bed. Standing in front of me, he inserted two fingers and thrust, slowly at first, and began building speed. It felt phenomenal. Then he strummed fingers over my clit and I almost came undone. I arched away from the bed and began to orgasm.

At the peak of my orgasm, he hooked his fingers inside me a made a come hither motion. The pressure was intense and felt almost like I had to pee. He warned me of this ahead of time, for which I was thankful because otherwise, I would have stopped him. As it was, I still wasn’t sure about it, but I trusted him and it felt so fucking good.

I was cumming so hard I was making unintelligible sounds and grinding my hips into his whole hand. He pressed the palm of his other hand on my pubic bone and thrust his hooked fingers in and out of me, hitting my g-spot perfectly.

I think I heard the wetness hit his chest before I realized what I had done.

Ejaculate, from my body, shot into his chest with force. It hit him so hard, he actually jerked back a bit. I was so far gone, I didn’t care what was getting wet. I just knew I wanted to keep cumming.

I was having my first blended orgasm and it was the best feeling I had ever known.

He removed his fingers and replaced them with his cock. This was not the time for sweet and slow and thank the gods he knew it. He fucked me hard, using my legs as leverage, pulling me to him and pushing away.

And I kept squirting, no clue where all this liquid was coming from, but it was everywhere.

When he orgasmed a bit later and I was spent and damn near drooling, I realized there wasn’t much dry real estate left on my bed. Or my floor. I had soaked half the room. I made the first mistake moments later when I tried getting up to get water.

And hit the floor. Legs don’t work too well after all that.

He chuckled and helped me back onto the bed and left the room to retrieve towels, water, and more fruit. The man planned ahead well. I also learned squirt gets cold quickly and a wet cold bed is no fun. We stripped the bed and remade it for a much-needed cuddle session and I fell asleep not long after.

His hands performed miracles, and not just on hearts. He taught me I could squirt and I’ve been having intense, g-spot orgasms ever since. Female ejaculate is still freezing cold afterward, but the orgasms are worth it.

But I’m still not sleeping in the wet spot.

You might be surprised to find, I’ve struggled to write about this topic for a few years now. Five years give or take. Benjamin Davis published one of the best sex toy reviews I’ve ever read back in January 2021 for the Arcwave Ion, making me laugh and think. Two things that he does well.

In the comment section, one of his readers noted:

One more reason for men to opt-out of vaginal intercourse. The readily-available porn fantasy of the ideal woman offers an easy escape, and now a tool gives a better orgasm. Great…. Sigh

Ben replied:

I mean…this is the kind of thing incels say about dildos. While this thing is great, it is in no way better than vaginal intercourse. Any man who prefers this, as fun as it is, has some other things to work out

This comment exchange is what made me think about writing a piece about the correlation between sex toys, porn, intimacy, and the breakdown in things in relationships. I’m a big believer that people can have these things present in their relationships and still have fantastic sex solo, partnered, and keep intimacy alive within their relationships.

However, I am also completely aware from personal experience and from reading about the experiences of others, that the total opposite is true. I’m convinced that lack of honest, open, and vulnerable communication is the biggest culprit in these cases. Willful ignorance would be right up there, too. What is that? See Ben’s statement…kind of. Thinking a dildo replaces a living penis? Never! But again, that would be where intimacy comes into play.

My ex got to the point where porn and his hand were more appealing to him than me. For two years, we existed in a sexless marriage, unless you counted masturbation. I did my level best to communicate with him about the troubles we were having. There was no expectation for him to stop having solo fun, nor did I care that he was watching porn.

He had self esteem issues stemming from gaining some weight after he got out of the military, which finally came to light after quite some time of me attempting to get him to talk. His weight gain never bothered me, but it was an issue for him. I understood that, I had issues surrounding my weight for my entire life — and offered to work on food and exercise changes if that was something he was interested in, together.

My point being, I was more than willing to do whatever was necessary to help him, help himself. But after more than two years of putting myself out there to put in the work, I realized I was the only one doing anything. He decided solo sex and sneaking around to meet people behind my back were his options. I decided leaving the marriage eventually was mine.

A friend of mine and I were talking a few years ago when I learned she was in a similar situation. She confided to me that each morning, before her husband got out of bed to get ready for work, he expected her to give him a blowjob. While she said she enjoyed this morning routine, she was a highly sexual person, she’d begun to dread the ordeal.

I asked her why. She said because she never got any pleasure in return. They rarely had sex anymore, and if they did, it felt like she was a cum receptacle. He refuse to perform oral on her. Their sex sessions consisted of a little making out, her going down on him, missionary sex until he got close to orgasm, then him expecting oral until he orgasmed, rolling over and going to sleep.

Fuck that.

She said she never orgasmed during their sex together, that as soon as he fell asleep, she would go into their bathroom, run a bath, pull up porn on her phone, and use her toy to get herself off. Since the sex was rare anyway, she said using her toy daily during her shower or bath had become a regular occurrence.

I asked if they’d sat down and had a conversation about things and she said she tried texting with him about it some, in a sexy way — bringing up some ideas about what she’d like to do with him that night. She said he would text back a little, saying that sounded good, but when it came down to doing it, the same thing would happen — wham bam thank you ma’am.

This went on for years, her being unsatisfied and him doing the same old same old. Eventually, she began to step outside their marriage and found pleasure with others. She believed he was doing the same thing. They never talked about it. A few years ago, due to other concerns, lack of intimacy, and financial struggles, they divorced.

He’s dating and she has decided to remain single but sexually active.

Among a growing number of women that I’ve seen online there are concerns that pornography is a huge problem within relationships. They believe their husbands/boyfriends are sucked in by: The readily-available porn fantasy of the ideal woman offers an easy escape…as the commenter on Ben’s article said.

I won’t say this isn’t somewhat accurate, but it’s not the whole story. We’re all human and we all get drawn in to beauty and fantasy. There’s nothing wrong with this. But how is that any different than being drawn into Shondaland when we watch the amazing Bridgerton series? Or Outlander?

Where it becomes a problem is when people can’t separate fantasy from reality.

Let’s face it, I would jump into bed with Jamie Fraser any day of the week, but I know that’s not going to happen. I can separate fantasy from reality. I can also put that fantasy right into my spank bank and enjoy the thought while I’m using toys ❤

The same goes when it comes to sex toys. I don’t believe there are many women out there using sex toys who believe their partner, regardless of gender, are going to be able to, nor do they want them to, do the same things their toys are doing. Most of the time, when we’re using a sex toy, we are doing so in order to quickly get off for a solo session.

Our intent is to masturbate to orgasm, get that quick dopamine hit, and go on about our business, whatever that may be. Personally, I usually do it before taking a nap or going to bed to help me sleep.

The only time sex toys have been a “replacement” for a partner in my life have been when I didn’t have a present partner. The only time porn has been close to a replacement for intimacy in my life is when I watched some fantastic films made by award winning director, Erika Lust. But then again, watching her films is more like watching art.

Losing one’s self in a good film though isn’t the same as people watching a quick and dirty clip to get off. That’s what people are referring to when they talk about porn addiction. The free online stuff that isn’t what anyone should really be viewing because it doesn’t support the people who are making it, so you should be paying for your porn.

Sex toys and porn aren’t replacing the people nor the intimacy in my relationship. The relationship I’m in is growing, thriving, and very intimate. We both use toys and films, on our own and together.

It’s possible. How? Communication, honesty, trust, vulnerability, and openness with everyone involved— even if it’s just yourself.

Role-playing in the bedroom, and out, gets a bad rap. Most people are under the mistaken impression you must be super kinky or into BDSM (or both) in order to enjoy role play. Or, that there’s something inherently wrong with your relationship if you’re pretending to be someone else while having sex.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Role-playing is one of the best ways to live out a fantasy, without potentially involving a third (or more) in your relationship. It’s healthy and perfectly normal.

Don’t get me wrong, you can definitely involve more people if you’d like, but you don’t have to if that’s not your thing.

Your sex life is always susceptible to becoming stagnant and monotonous. Once the honeymoon period is over, maintaining the thrilling excitement that kept you both turned on at the start becomes increasingly difficult. The world of sex advice is awash with tips in this regard, with ‘trying out role-play with your partner’ being a popular one.

But what sort of role-play situation is sexy? And what type of role-playing suits your sort of relationship, in particular? Here are eight ideas to get you started.

Eight Sexy Role-Play Scenarios

1. The Boss & The Secretary

This fantasy is sure to have crossed many a saucy mind. Though this scene happens in real life fairly often, it’s still a popular fantasy. Why not let the perceived eroticism of such an illicit romance zing up your sex life?

At a very basic level, a secretary is employed to fulfill tasks the boss is too busy to consider. They ensure business continues smoothly, and take care of more menial tasks. A caricature of the situation, which is what happens during fantasy role-play, is that the boss is in control — of the business, of the secretary’s employment and income, while the secretary is subservient to the boss, and required to complete any task demanded of them.

Any task.

The beauty of this role-play idea is that is can be tailored to be as lighthearted or kinky as you desire. Remember, if there’s a question of consent within the role-play, you should discuss it ahead of time and agree on what is and isn’t okay. Using a safe word is an easy way to put a halt to things if they get a little too wild.

2. Head Teacher & Naughty Pupil

Age-play is on the ‘too taboo’ side of the kinky fence for some people, playing naughty schoolgirl teasing the Headmaster will always have popularity in the adult role-play world. Schoolgirl costumes are sold in the majority of adult retail stores, but whatever you choose to wear (or not!) is completely up to you.

Despite the seeming conflict between school-age wear and sexy adult fun, the hotness of disguising extreme filthiness in the epitome of innocence simply can’t be denied. This is role-play, so any corruption of innocence is of course 100 percent make-believe. The thrilling pleasure of an adult couple playing stern and experienced Head Teacher with innocent-yet-naughty schoolgirl or schoolboy is, however, very real.

Or, you could switch things around.

Instead of the innocent, yet bratty, schoolgirl/boy getting a thorough spanking then a hard fucking, perhaps it’s the threat of the Head teacher losing their job which the schoolgirl/boy holds over them… forcing them to please the wicked pupil in any way they desire, and obey all their bratty demands.

3. Random Horny Hook-Up

So, you’re a couple, you’re in a relationship, what about if you weren’t? What if you were complete strangers? Strangers, who meet in a hotel bar, and enjoy a horny hook-up?

You’ll have to get your best-acting faces on –but that’s just gonna make it hotter. Trust me. You’ve just met the alluring stranger of your dreams in the hotel bar downstairs, or at the club, and now you’re getting to know each other even better. Intimately, in fact.

Our guards are up when we meet strangers; we don’t show the absolute 100 percent raw truth of ourselves. It just means we hold extra allure. Would-be lovers can’t resist peeling the layers from such an enigma… metaphorically and literally.

This is a great role-play idea for couples who really want to revisit those steamy sex sessions of the honeymoon period, right back at the start of your relationship. Will you play yourselves, as you were back then when you didn’t know each other, or will you create an entirely new character for the evening?

4. Stripper & Audience Member

It’s a common fantasy to take the stripper home. Simply put, one partner plays the stripper –or lap-dancer- while the other is the audience member or customer. Exotic dancing and lap-dancing have an erotic reputation because although they’re sex-themed services offered in return for money, they don’t involve sexual intercourse. The tease element is strong with this one!

Will he be the stripper who caught your eye on a raucous night out with the girls? (Any of us who watched Magic Mike have thought of this happening!) Perhaps she’s the exotic dancer you just can’t get out of your head… and you persuade her to lap-dance you privately. Will the fun escalate into all-out sex –even though you both know it’s ‘against the rules’? Perhaps you should enjoy their raunchy moves up close and personal, one more time, while you both ponder what lies ahead.

5. Sex Worker & Client

The sex worker and client role-play idea is often touched upon during dirty talk, showing that the concepts of being paid for sex and paying for sex are emotive and can be intensely arousing for many people. Suffice it to say, juxtaposing typically unwanted, unsafe and taboo situations into where we feel most safe, loved, happy and content can lead to the filthiest sex sessions. Look at age-play and rape-play, as just a couple of examples. Sex work is still stigmatized in society, for no reason other than misogyny, misinformation, and a lack of full acceptance (and therefore safety measures/regulation) from authorities.

Correct terminology often makes for not-so-hot dirty talk and role-play. Slang labels add to the raw, gritty feel of a filthy sex session. Maybe you’ve booked your escort from a website and you’re handling business before pleasure in a hotel room. Perhaps you’ve been picked up by a wealthy client who’s going to pay you well to give you the rough fucking you crave. This is another role-play idea which can be explored in all its taboo depths; from the labels you use, to the particular fantasy which gets you both off.

6. A Steamy Affair

You’re both married, but to other people. However, since you met each other you couldn’t shake the thought of this irresistible person. You knew you needed them in your life… or at the very least, in your bed. Each time you fuck it’s simply a temporary sating of that craving. Feeding your addiction. When are you going to be able to get your next fix?

Role-playing that you’re actually having an affair from other relationships adds a spicy risk element. Though you may not agree that cheating is a good thing, someone telling you they can’t resist your allure is undeniably flattering. Maximize the naughty, seedy feel by insisting on hushed sex sessions, muffling cries of passion with hands -or a gag. Relish anticipating your next sordid liaison by never speaking of it aloud, only arranging it via text message or email.

You’ll be amazed how hot the sex is when it’s been arranged without a word spoken aloud. Plus, those texts and emails are great fantasy fodder to keep you smiling between illicit hook-ups.

7. Performing In A Porn Movie

Perhaps you’ve watched porn together –or separately, whatever works for you- and really enjoy it. How about stepping it up a notch and role-playing performing in a porn movie together?

Regardless of whether you actually set up a recording device to make it that much more believable, you can still enjoy the fantasy of performing to the best of your sexual ability for the cameras. Imagine people in their own homes watching you both showing them how it’s done, masturbating to your sordid scenes, or fucking their partner while turned on by your antics.

Whether you actually set up recording equipment is entirely down to you and what you feel comfortable doing. Don’t feel pressured to have the camera switched on if you’re not 100 percent happy about it. A good compromise might be to set up a couple of old camcorders or other cameras on the side, just as props to aid your imagination without actually recording a single thing.

Then, it’s lights, camera, sexy action! Don’t forget to wear your best porn performer lingerie, to shake your sexy ass and to pout while moaning in orgasmic ecstasy.

8. Sex Slave Auction Winner

All a bit tame for you so far? Try this one for size. This is personally my favorite! Warning: it’s about to get extra kinky!

You’ve been won for a fair price in a very busy sex slave auction. Your new owner enjoyed the look of you and fought off the competition in a fierce bidding war, to win you all to themselves once the gavel came down. Now, still shackled (and possibly collared, and clamped in various places), you’re led away by your new owner to prove you’re worth your price tag.

This role-play idea is scorching hot. It’s also versatile enough to provide a little fun kink to those wishing to just dip a toe into the waters of BDSM, or you could go all-out if you share an objectification fetish.

At its mildest, the sex slave is won in an auction and proves they are indeed worth their price, via a raunchy sex session. To add a more kinky element, you could use actual bondage accessories like a collar and leash, wrist cuffs, nipple clamps and even labia/clit clamps to role-play the slave auction scene. You might also decide to include bondage and spanking during the incredibly hot sex which follows.

Make sure you please your new Master or Mistress, however, or they might re-sell you to another owner at the next auction! Ooh, another role play fantasy…

The Bottom Line

For most people, the desire stays in their heads — mostly because they are too nervous or embarrassed to even broach the subject with their significant other. Maybe it’s because your partner seems very vanilla, and anything past the missionary with dimmed lights will send them running for the hills.

Or perhaps you think it’s just too “weird”.

Just remember, everyone has felt that way, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to fulfill a fantasy. We all have a deep-seated fear of being ridiculed and rejected. Also, not everyone has established that line of communication early on in their relationships. But this is a fantastic way to not only work on more fun in the bedroom, but your communication as well.

The most important part? Relax and enjoy yourselves.

“On your knees, back straight, eyes front.”

“Yes, Mistress. Your wish is my command.”

But is it really? Because in my heart of hearts, I want to be in your position. On my knees, serving someone. Not this submissive, he’s too perfectly sub. But someone.

My submissive is shaking, I’ve left him on his knees so long. I supposed I should attend him and get out of my head.

“Bow before my feet and worship, pig.”

I don’t think foot worship is my thing.

Now that my boots are licked clean, I let him up and move to my favorite chair.

“Lie on the floor on your back and slide under my chair.”

I slowly lower myself into position. My Queening chair is one of my favorite pieces in the dungeon. It allows me to sit comfortably and be serviced from below. My sub isn’t doing the best job today. He must be as distracted as I am.

I place a well-heeled boot on his cock, pressing harder and harder until he licks my pussy to my standards. He knows what to expect. I chuckle to myself. Likely, he wanted a boot to the cock, so he dialed back his efforts.

I would love nothing more than to serve a man from below. I’m getting wetter just thinking about it.

Running my tongue up and down his cock until it was so hard, it was almost painful. Taking great care with his balls. I know I could please Him, given the chance.

I imagine I would be a bit of a brat sub. Misbehaving so I would get spankings and floggings from my tender Master.

“Stop. You’re not where you should be today and I’m not tolerating it any longer. Get up and put yourself on the table, face down.”

As my sub bends over the table, I grab my flogger and strike. I can almost feel the soft leather on my own buttocks as they leave beautiful pink marks on my sub’s waiting behind.

“One, Mistress.”

Yes, count away little piggy. You’ll be here a while.

“Ten, Mistress.”

I flog faster and harder, the sub hardly able to keep up. As I reach 20 I demanded, “COME!”, he arches his back and stiffens.

“Did you cum, little piggy?”

“Yes, Mistress, as you commanded.”

“Lick your semen from the table then await my command.”

Gods I’m hot. If only I was being commanded by a beautiful man…

“Domina Demeter! On your knees.”

I know that voice, even from behind me. Master B. He owns the dungeon and is one of the most commanding men I’ve ever met. He even makes me cast my eyes downward. What the hell?

“Master, respectfully, I’m not yours to command.”

“You are today. Your mind is obviously elsewhere. Your submissive has been kneeling for 20 minutes without command. I’ve watched your entire session from behind the mirror. You’ve barely dealt with him. You need an education in domination today. Do as I command or there will be consequences.”

Could he read my mind? There’s no way. I was getting what I asked for, but in front of my submissive? As I contemplated my choices, my high ponytail was pulled hard and I had two choices. Follow it to the ground or lose my hair.

“What the fu..”

“I said ON YOUR KNEES.”

I tumbled to the ground and somehow made it to my knees. Straightening my back, I glared at the man in front of me rebelliously.

“Yes, Master,” I spit venomously.

He gracefully sat in my Queening chair as if he knew all along what was in my head.

“Now, let’s see if you have the skill to pleasure me. I’m difficult to please. You’ll need to bring your A-game, Demeter. Lie on your back and slide under the chair. When I give you the command, I best feel a warm and wet tongue on my cock.”

I slid under the chair, wet with anticipation. I couldn’t wait to get my mouth on this waiting cock. I placed my head in the sling below the chair and waited, not so patiently.

“Lick my cock, make sure you don’t leave any part of me out.”

And then he stood, and kneeled by the chair instead of sitting. I was confused, until he laid across the opening and slowly slide his cock into my mouth, like he was fucking me. Fuck.

I took him in, allowing my throat to relax so he could slide all the way down. In no time, my breath couldn’t keep up with being choked, but fuck did it feel amazing. I could reach his balls with one hand, and grasped them while he used my face as a hole to please him.

“No one told you to stop! Keep going, you seem to know what you’re doing.”

He began to fuck my throat harder, which left me gasping. I could breathe more, but damn, I had never been used this way before. As I began to wonder if he needed to stop and collect himself, he pressed all the way down, touching his body to my lips.

“Ahhhhh YES!”

Swallowing everything he graciously gifted me, I relaxed with a smile on my face.

“Get out from under the chair and get back on your knees.”

I did as I was told, after all, He was the boss.

“You’ve done well, Demeter. I think you’re ready to take your place again as Domina. Though I do have one last command.”

“Yes, Master?”

“Meet me in my chambers later this evening, I believe we have unfinished business between Dominants.”

“Your wish is my command.”

I hope you enjoyed this fun little switch wish story. I wrote it many years ago with a bit of a different twist, but I like what I’ve done with it to freshen it up to match my desires, today!

Want more? It’s helpful for me to keep the lights on (and internet) if you support my work! $Demeterdelune on Cash App or you can buy me a coffee on Kofi!

When I began writing about sex, one of the things I expected to hear a lot was how disappointed people were with their sex lives.

And I have, unfortunately, heard it a lot.

What surprises and thrills me are the number of people I talk to who are happy with their sex lives.

Nothing makes me happier than knowing people are having their sexual needs met.

Although I talk to more folks about being dissatisfied with the amount of sex they’re having or even the kind of sex they’re having, knowing there are people out there who are genuinely excited about the way things are going for themselves makes me smile.

So, how do we get there?

By now, you’re probably well aware of what I’m going to tell you, but it bears repeating.

Communication.

Not only do you need to communicate with your partner(s), you need to have a long talk with yourself about what it looks like to have your sexual needs met.

We’ve been in a relationship with ourselves a lot longer than we’ve been in one with our partner(s).

However, that doesn’t mean we’ve been in a good one with ourselves.

I haven’t always taken care of myself the way I should, sexually or otherwise. My self-esteem/love game is lacking. I’ve sheepishly admitted before, my first real orgasm didn’t happen until I was in my mid-twenties, long after I started having sexual intercourse. A good 10 years after, actually.

Life is too short to have bad sex, even with yourself.

You deserve better.

It’s not just women who need to learn to love themselves, I’m talking to you gentlemen out there, too.

I believe some guys get a bad rap when it comes to what they desire. In talking with men who’ve opened up after reading some of my articles, and conversations with my boyfriend, I can tell you it isn’t just ‘wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am’ most men are after.

They like being romanced, touched, teased, and brought to the edge as much as we do.

For some gods awful reason, men have been conditioned to believe acknowledging those things makes them less of a man.

I’m here, along with my other sex positive writers, to tell you, unpack that bullshit and set it free.

There’s nothing more manly and sexy than a guy who is willing to talk to me about what he desires. What gets him off. What turns him on. (not an invitation, guys.)

Tell me about it over text, while I’m working or doing laundry.

Whisper it in my ear while we’re making dinner together in the kitchen.

Send me naughty pictures with notes attached.

And definitely tell me what you’re feeling when we’re fucking; that’s hot and gets me wetter.

That’s part of what does it for me, but that may not be it for you. That’s okay, we’re all different. How boring would life be if we weren’t?

Communicating with your partner is important for this very reason. What works for you, for me, for Joe Blow down the street, may not work for your partner.

Mrs. Sexy Wife may not be into sexting, so it will do nothing for her for you to send her dirty ditties while she’s at work.

Mr. Hot Husband might not appreciate titties in his text messages, so you wouldn’t want to freak him out by sending naughty photos while he’s hanging out with the boys.

*I’m not sure what world that last one would happen in, but you get the picture.*

When we talk we can begin to explore and that’s where our needs are met.

Exploration with the one we love, no matter what that looks like, coupled with good communication, trust, and open-mindedness are the keys to having your sexual needs met.

You don’t have to be anything more than yourself to be satisfied. If that looks like vanilla sex, lick that creamy goodness up and enjoy the ride. If it looks more like you shop at Home Depot for more than home appliances, strap in and enjoy the ride.

We’re all different and that’s a wonderful thing. Where we’re the same is in our desire to have our needs met. It’s possible when we’re willing to put in the work.

Did you enjoy this? Want more? I’m available to create custom erotica as well! It’s helpful for me to keep the lights on (and internet) if you support my work! $Demeterdelune on Cash App or you can buy me a coffee on Kofi!