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FINNEY’S 5: Signs your Valentine’s Day card was written with AI
Hey, who can afford real writers and artists these days?
Feb 12
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Daniel P. Finney
1
1
1
Bezos’ evisceration of the Washington Post
Once billed as the Post's savior, the billionaire is now the paper's greatest villain.
Feb 8
•
Daniel P. Finney
15
5
5
FINNEY'S 5: Valentine's Day notes that land different
True love is saying the quiet part out loud.l — and immediately regretting it.
Feb 11
•
Daniel P. Finney
2
1
FINNEY’S 5: Realistic titles for Winter Olympics events
You’d be better off watching “Cool Runnings.”
Feb 10
•
Daniel P. Finney
3
FINNEY’S 5: Things to do now that football season is over
A brief transition plan for people who treat football like a personality.
Feb 9
•
Daniel P. Finney
4
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The night that tested a neighborhood — and the man who refused to let it fail
Nov 20, 2025
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Daniel P. Finney
30
8
5
Have a visit
Jan 11
•
Daniel P. Finney
27
8
4
My 3 moms, my 3 saviors
May 12, 2025
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Daniel P. Finney
23
5
The more Fever went down, the more they lifted us up
Oct 5, 2025
•
Daniel P. Finney
20
5
3
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FINNEY’S 5: Terrible ideas for Super Bowl Sunday snacks
Somewhere, a crockpot is being used for evil.
Feb 6
•
Daniel P. Finney
4
1
1
FINNEY’S 5: Signs Jeff Bezos may not be the savior the Washington Post needed
Bezos insisted Darth Vader theme ‘Imperial March’ be played whenever he entered the newsroom.
Feb 5
•
Daniel P. Finney
4
4
FINNEY’S 5: Cupid’s biggest laments
Being a Roman god ain’t all love at first sight and happily ever after.
Feb 4
•
Daniel P. Finney
4
1
FINNEY’S 5: Strikingly honest online dating profiles
The honesty you say you want, but absolutely do not.
Feb 3
•
Daniel P. Finney
3
FINNEY’S 5: Shocking revelations about Punxsutawney Phil
The marmot is less accurate than a coin flip.
Feb 2
•
Daniel P. Finney
2
FINNEY’S 5: Career milestones teachers don’t put on their resumes
How dry can a dry erase board marker get?
Jan 30
•
Daniel P. Finney
7
A quick, transparent ask
Some of you have helped me out in the past, and I don’t forget that.
Jan 29
•
Daniel P. Finney
4
2
1
FINNEY’S 5: Overlooked upsides to 13 consecutive days below freezing
Reduces will-to-live aspirations to looking at old Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
Jan 29
•
Daniel P. Finney
5
1
FINNEY'S 5: Telling ice from ICE
Both are cold, but only one is good in tea.
Jan 28
•
Daniel P. Finney
6
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